The house I live in is dull. The walls and rooms are white, plain, empty. Where is the vibrance? Most of my house doesn’t feel like my home save for one room, where the walls are colored a lively purple, and I can live in the world I have come to love through paint brushes and color palettes. Where paintings and sketches and supplies are strewn about the space, covering the floor so thoroughly that the carpet beneath is barely visible. This is the place that I can be free to simply exist with my creations. The place where I can be what I want, whether It be a girl with a messy bun and paint smattered all over her face, carefree to make sketches so scribbly you can barely tell what it is, or a woman with talent and confidence, not afraid to paint what she feels.
I get to my house from working out after school, drained of physical and mental energy, the only thing keeping me going is my need to get my homework done and rest. Barely able to keep my eyes on my computer, my mind up in the clouds, seemingly determined to be anywhere but here sitting at the kitchen counter. Every night is just like the last one during the week. The days, the months blur together like the smearing of colors across the canvas. Middle school, high school, college, are simply shades, whites and grays and blacks, hardly distinguishable from one another. Only flecks of yellow, red, and blue remain, many from the few instances I could take the time to exist with my art, to dig through my emotions, turn them into colors and create something that is beautiful to me.
When I’m older, I will get out of my car to see my new home. The shelter that will be mine, through my work, my determination. It will be so dull. The walls and the rooms will be white, plain, empty. The house will be colorless, newly built. But as I stand there looking, I will feel my lips spread into a smile. I will open the trunk of my car and grab the bags, containers, and supplies. This structure will be bare, lifeless, but I will know it won’t stay that way any longer. This house will be my canvas, and I will paint the walls, the ceiling, everything. I will turn on some music for inspiration, set up the tape, grab a paint brush, dip it in the paint, and begin turning my new house into my new home.
